By Daylon D. Caldwell – Special to the Navarro County Gazette
Many times in life we think about things too late, rather it’s saying sorry, or planning to do something. Guilt is something we have a hard time dealing with on a day-to-day basis. Losing a loved one suddenly can cause a lot of things to be left undone, such as personal problems or just tension and we’re left to deal with it all alone and blame ourselves for not getting to forgive ourselves or getting things right with our loved one.
Experiencing a significant loss can throw us into a state of intensive self examination. We may begin to critically analyze everything we said and did, as well as everything we didn’t say or do. Not only can this self-imposed scrutiny be extremely harsh, but it is unfair when we judge ourselves as if our current hindsight had been foresight. For example, if we didn’t realize or know that our loved one was near death and we didn’t do something we later wish we had done, we judge ourselves as though we had known they were going to pass away, or at least as though we should have known.
As difficult as it may be to accept, we cannot go back and relive, or change the past. There are things pertaining to our relationship with those who have died that we simply cannot change. However, we can make a quality decision to have a better relationship with the family members we still have left with us. We must take the past as a lesson, as painful as it may be, and make it a redemptive part of our growth as a human being.
“Lord, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; the courage to change the things I can; and the wisdom to know the difference”
Daylon D. Caldwell
Griffin-Roughton Funeral Home
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